Category

travel humor

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Picture courtesy of Unsplash & photog Artem Zhukov

Of course I wanted to be a travel writer, and I still do, but who wants to write about or read about the bad meal at the hotel bar in Albany, New York? I wanted to write about splashy, exciting, sun-soaked places all over the globe. Well guess what? 90% of my travel isn’t to anywhere that people choose as a vacation destination. Sure, I hit Disney World about three times a year and California maybe two other times, but do you know where I go a lot? Philadelphia. It’s a great city with a lot to offer, but I’m not vacationing there. I’ve been there four times in the last 5 months.

Sometimes I go to Buffalo, New Jersey, and Connecticut. And I’m not staying in resorts! I’m staying in moderately priced chain hotels that cater to people like me who show up for a couple days and just need good wi-fi and a nice pillow to put our heads on. I can tell you which hotel does or does not have a nice workout room, a good in-house  restaurant and a “business center” where you can print out your agenda for the meeting with your client tomorrow.

Picture courtesy Unsplash and photog Bruce Mars. Ugh. I hate sitting on the floor at the airport

I can tell you what airlines have the best routes from Rochester to Newark. I can tell you what rental car companies I like and why. I can also contrast and compare the hotel chain loyalty clubs and what the best perks are. This is who I am. I’m the khaki pants, blue shirt, sport coat middle-aged guy you see sighing with weary sadness while waiting in line for a coffee at Dunkin Donuts in the airport.

Of course I’ll still tell funny stories from my past international travels and my current vacations. But if you’re from Milwaukee and sitting in the Newark Marriott hotel restaurant/bar at the end of a long day and want to talk about your fantasy football team and tell me why you sell specialty pistons for some ridiculous machinery that I don’t care about, you’re my people.

~Phil